4 reasons why PORN must be banned in India

(DISCLAIMER: NOT APPROPRIATE FOR READERS UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE)

Unless you’ve been living in cave, you must have heard about the ban on porn in India. Tentatively, 800 sites have been blocked, and there’s a lot of confusion about which one of the public’s favorite sites will be affected. Porn lovers – particularly Bollywood – the community normally mum about anything socially relevant, took on the Government! Even our beloved Karenjit Kaur Vohra, aka Sunny Leone wrote an open letter to PM Modi, expressing her bitter shock at potential royalty losses she’s about to experience.

Credit: DNA India
Credit: DNA India

In defense of the Central Government of India, our Netas have finally decided to clean up the filth and groom a new generation who’ve never heard, seen or experienced anything associated with sex.

Unlike people complaining about the ban, we view this as a step in a positive direction, and here’s why:

1. Better Governance

Our Parliamentarians say they are busy legislating, but we know what they’ve looking at during long debates about Lalit-Gate, Coal-Gate, etc. Remember these incriminating pictures from the Parliament? On the left is honorable Laxman Savadi, the Karnataka state Co-operative Minister. On the right is venerable CC Patil, the Karnataka Women and Child Welfare Minister. Both indulged in hours of porn watching as the Parliament cameras captured their naughty behavior!

The Central government definitely has a preference for a top-down governance approach so we assume the first people to lose access to free and paid porn will be our beloved Netas. With no porn to distract them, Netas will undoubtedly work harder and India will turn into the super-power it was always meant to be.

2. Revenge of the forgotten Indian Aunties

Way back in the dark ages when internet didn’t exist, the rest of us pretty much were happy fantasizing about a sexy uncle or aunty next door – depending of course, on your sexual preferences. Porn came along, and the buxom, curvy Indian Aunties were sadly replaced by “augmented”, Caucasian / Latin / Ebony / Asian stunners. With the ban in place, the sexy Indian Aunties will gain her worthy stature back. We couldn’t be happier – after all we are all about the celebration of curves in their true form, not the kind of unrealistic crap on porn sites these days.

Reshma
Credit: Times Of India

3. Desi-Made…Alright!

Now that porn is banned, the Indian population will be forced to support the Desi-made C-Grade “blue” films and find comfort in “Reshma ki Jawani”, “Savita Bhabi ki saari ka pallu”, “Jungle Main Mangal” or “Sakila ki Suhaag Raat”. Indians will learn to appreciate and support Indian made!

4. Zero Rapes…Finally!

As our pious and stalwartly politicians have remarked repeatedly – porn causes an insatiable libido in Indian males – young and old, all are forced to commit rape! I can only imagine the trauma porn causes in an Indian man’s life. With no porn to excite them, we can happily assume India will no longer be the Rape Nation – as our haters often call us!

We strongly urge opponents of this ban to widen their perspective. When a small personal sacrifice goes a long way for the betterment of the society, particularly our Netas – it’s all worth it!

VidaManejoStamp

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